You Talkin’ To Me? – featuring: The Ipc

Ever wondered how to respond to a question by a particular film character? Well, here’s your chance to find out what others have said. Inspired by a feature from Total Film magazine, I’ve decided to adapt some film quotes, that pose as questions to my fellow bloggers. This is my way of shedding some light on some great blogs out there and have a little fun at the same time. There are a different range of questions which will give the blogger the chance to either be offensive, defensive, serious, funny, surreal etc. It may prove difficult to come up with a answer but the whole point is to be as creative as possible.

In the crosshairs in this instalment is Eric Isaacs, who runs the honest and often hilarious blog:
ISAACS PICTURE CONCLUSIONS

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Okay, let’s get started. The film quotes will be in bold with Eric’s answers underneath.

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Are you talkin’ to me?

HUH?? Aren’t you asking the goddamn questions?? I may be dumb but I’m not fucking stupid…

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You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

I come from the 70s, so I’m always feeling a little bit lucky… and LOOSE! But I’m married now so I just stick with feeling……… LUCKY!!!

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Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

I actually have – your readers might not believe me, but it’s true. *Finishes off 7th beer* Oh wait – maybe that was FILMHIPSTER…..

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My… my wi-, my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I’m fucking married? The toilet seat’s up, man!

*Finishes off 11th beer, accidentally pees on your floor* OOOOOOOOPS

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Big Kahuna Burger. That’s that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain’t never had one myself. How are they?

If I remember correctly, that’s a nod to In N Out Burger. In N Out Burger ROCKS!!!! They used to have a “special menu” that was word of mouth only. I wont divulge any secrets but we used to get things like “triple meat, quadruple bacon, there’s 30 bucks and 3 grams of weed under the bun” burgers….

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Do you see me holding up liquor stores with a born to lose tattoo on my chest?

If anyone was gonna do that, I would place my odds on you. BUT – I’m friends with you on Facebook and I’ve seen your tattoo – “ALANIS 4 EVA” across your shoulder blades.

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You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

YOU are funny like a FUCKING clown!! FUCKING clowns.

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Why don’t you try stickin’ your head up your ass? See if it fits.

This reminds me of something Adam Sandler did before he was big. This may not be verbatim but it was a song and went something like “Please shove that shampoo bottle up my ass and work it at a medium pace” and: “The other day I put a mirror on the floor and looked up my own asshole – it blew my fucking mind!!!!!”

By the way – have you ever done that? It may or may not be kind of *record scratch sound effect ending the moment*

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Alright, alright. Mickey’s a mouse, Donald’s a duck, Pluto’s a dog. What’s Goofy?

*Finishes 14th beer* I’ve always wondered that too. He seems like kind of a (BLEEEEEEEEEEEP) (BLEEEEP) (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)ing (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP) (BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP)ing (BLEEEEEEP) – let’s leave that interpretation up to your readers. I won’t mention any (BLEEEEEP)s.

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Are you telling me you built a time machine? Out of a Delorian?

Well – the thing I was commissioned to include on the DeLorian wasn’t a time machine. It was a contraption to help confiscate grass across the U.S. / Mexico border. In the end, they used it for something else….

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It’s quite a thing to live in fear isn’t it?

The only thing I fear is that Dane Cook reads the answer to the next question.

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If you could fight any celebrity, who would you pick?

FUCKING DANE COOK!!! I HATE HIS ACT, HIS ACTING AND HIS FUCKING FACE!!!! SUCK IT, COOK!!!!!!!!!

•••
Many thanks to Eric for his passionate involvement here and if you’ve not checked out his site please do so here. You’ll find that Eric does things very differently. He mainly concentrates on horror but branches out to more mainstream reviews and some very entertaining and involving features like Double Takes, Isaacs Interviews 2012 & 2013 and just finished the very popular Shitfest 2013, where he included a whole host of reviews of very poor film’s. Thanks again Eric, and if anyone else would like a crack at these questions then let me know in the comments section and you could be in the crosshairs next.

Mark

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42 Responses to “You Talkin’ To Me? – featuring: The Ipc”

  1. Ha ha this is so good. The answers so far have been so creative. Well done Eric (drinks your last beer). Lol

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    • Haha! Yeah, you can always rely on Eric to really go for it. That man likes his booze doesn’t he? He must have some Scottish in him. 😉

      I wanted to space the posts out about a bit Chris, so the time frame has changed slightly. Your time will happen soon, bro. 🙂

      Like

      • THANKS GENTS!!

        Irish, German, American Indian – I never had a chance….

        This looks great, Mark!

        Like

      • No, it doesn’t look like you did have much of a chance after all.

        I can see you now… dressed in your Lederhosen, feathers in your hair, beer in hand and trying to fight everyone 😉

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      • LOL!!

        ………………yes………………

        Like

  2. I got in touch with Dane Cook on Twitter. You know how good I am with celebs on there Eric, so prepare for his agent to speak to your people 🙂

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  3. Keep the feature going Mark. Great idea that should have wheels. Really creative bro! Bravo!

    Like

  4. Loving these! It seems Eric has some kind of issues with recreational narcotics and Dane Cook. Both potentially problematic.

    Like

  5. Poor Dane Cook. He gets no love.

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  6. Great answers. Loved the Blade Runner and Fight Club ones.

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  7. Lol, this is brilliant!! Love this feature. And of course, excellent answers from E!

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  8. I agree with your final answer, BUT I wouldn’t call Dane Cook a celebrity. That means he’s actually worthwhile and/or talented.

    Like

  9. jackdeth72 Says:

    Gentlemen. I’m shocked that one has forgotten another piece of famous banter from ‘Pulp Fiction’.

    Jules: “English, motherf*cker! Do you speak it?”

    Sadly, the conversation spirals down hill from there.

    Like

    • That’s a good answer Jack. You should get involved in this. I get the impression that you’d do well with these questions. I’d be very interested in hearing your answers…

      Like

      • jackdeth72 Says:

        Hi, Mark:

        “Are you talkin’ to me?”

        Like I’m going to say “No!” to someone who’s two thirds Charles Manson and one thirds Dr. Emilio Lizardo!”

        “You’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

        “Well, considering that’s a K-Frame Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum. Whose cylinder rotates counter clockwise. And I see nothing but empty chambers, but one. I’m going with “no!”

        You mean like this?

        Like

  10. jackdeth72 Says:

    Oh, cool!

    “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?”

    “No, but my girlfriend has. He leads terribly and steps on her shoes!”
    “My… my wi-, my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I’m fucking married? The toilet seat’s up, man!”

    “And real guys of America thank you! Married. Single. Divorced.
    Some acts of masculinity just shouldn’t be messed with.

    “Big Kahuna Burger. That’s that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain’t never had one myself. How are they?”

    “The Big Kahuna I bought that from was between a veterinary clinic and a Chinese restaurant. It might be a bit gamey.”

    “Do you see me holding up liquor stores with a born to lose tattoo on my chest?

    “No. In another place and time. We could be on opposite sides of this crappy diner’s table and the law.”

    “You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?”

    “You say things that scare the crap out of people. Then you ask “how?” and scare everyone else. You’re funny like a bunny with a switchblade is funny!

    “Why don’t you try stickin’ your head up your ass? See if it fits.”

    “No thanks. I’m more of a “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!” And “A snarl and a sneer and a whip that stings. These are a few of my favorite things” kind of guy.”

    “Alright, alright. Mickey’s a mouse, Donald’s a duck, Pluto’s a dog. What’s Goofy?’

    “No one knows. And the world is a better place because of it!”

    “Are you telling me you built a time machine? Out of a Delorian?”

    “Why, yes. The feds were going to take it along with everything else. Just wait until their accountants find out my profits from coke bankrolled this film!

    “It’s quite a thing to live in fear isn’t it?”

    “I’ve been living in fear since January of 2009.”

    “If you could fight any celebrity, who would you pick?”

    “Johnny Galecki. Latch onto his forehead and keep him at arm’s length swinging away at nothing.”

    Like

  11. I remember these posts Mark, such a cool idea.

    Like

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