Knock Knock
Director: Eli Roth.
Screenplay: Eli Roth, Nicolás López, Guillermo Amoedo.
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Lorenza Izzo, Ana de Armas, Aaron Burns, Ignacia Allamand, Dan Baily, Megan Baily, Colleen Camp.
“I’m glad we knocked on your door”
Not being a fan of writer/director Eli Roth or the torture porn sub-genre itself, I went into this film with serious reservations. I hoped against hope that with the appealing inclusion of Keanu Reeves this might be worth some attention. Reeves has been involved in the occasional dud here and there, but he’s also been known to unearth a few gems in his time. I was hoping for the latter and also hoping that Roth may have moved on from his gratuitous early films like Hostel and Cabin Fever and actually managed to mature somewhat. Alas, I should have paid heed to my reservations.
Evan Webber (Keanu Reeves) has the house to himself for the weekend while his wife and children take a trip away. Evan’s supposed to be working from home but the arrival of two young women at his doorstep temp him to do otherwise…
Those familiar with the 1977 psychological thriller, Death Game, will know what to expect already with this one but for those unaware, fear not; It doesn’t take long to get the gist of this and Roth doesn’t waste any time setting up this remake: Reeves is a happily married man, living the suburban life with his wife, kids and family dog. There is, however, a small hint from a passing comment of Reeves flirting in the past and it’s also noted that, due to family life, he and his wife haven’t had sex for three weeks. So, the stage is set… Reeves gets on with his work one stormy evening until two young damsels come knocking on his door. They’ve lost their way, of course, and ask for his help. They flutter their eyelashes, make suggestive sexual comments and dance flirtatiously to Spanish music. Not before long they’re naked and helping themselves to a shower while poor Keanu is folding their panties that he so obligingly dried in his machine. Naturally, they refuse to catch the taxi home leaving good ol’ Reevesy with no choice but to bump fuzzies. Now, if only Reeves had been privy to the ominous use of music (that the audience hears so consistently to foretell danger) he’d have known that these ladies are bad news. And so ensues depravity, torture and mayhem. You may be reminded of such psychological films as Michael Haneke’s Funny Games or David Slade’s Hard Candy but the major difference is that those films are actually very good. Quite frankly, this is awful.
Had it’s tongue been lodged firmly in it’s cheek it might have gained a modicum of respect but it didn’t. And it doesn’t! If there’s any attempt at humour here then Roth has failed to capture it. It takes itself far too seriously. There’s absolutely no consideration for the plot other than to move things along to the next depraved moment and the acting is woeful; Reeves is as wooden as he’s ever been but, to be fair, his best moments come when he’s being tortured. Or maybe that’s because I could completely empathise with his excruciating pain while enduring this film.
Ridiculous doesn’t even begin to describe this and I should have trusted my instinct before going into it. I simply don’t like Roth’s films and after this I’ll not be going near another one. If truth be told, I wish he’d just go away and stop wasting everyone’s time.
The last I heard, “Knock Knock” was the beginning of a child’s joke. However, this joke stretches over 90mins and doesn’t even deliver a punchline. At one point Reeves’ character even screams out “what’s the point of all this?” – I found myself asking the same question.
Unequivocally one of the worst films I’ve ever had the misfortune to sit through. Maybe once the dust settles I might be able to see this as one of those films that are so bad they’re good. I doubt it, though, this was painfully dreadful. Like Roth’s previous films it’s just downright nasty and leaves a very bad aftertaste.
No, Eli! Just No! Back away from the camera and leave the filmmaking to the bigger children. Now, go home and get your fuckin’ shinebox.
Mark Walker
Trivia: Two of the film’s producers Colleen Camp and Sondra Locke, starred in Death Game – the original movie that this is based on. Camp also makes an appearance as a nosey neighbour.
MARKED MOVIES 
November 19, 2015 at 12:12 pm
UGH. I watched this hoping that Roth had changed his game up a bit. I don’t mind his movies, he does try to be different, but that doesn’t always work out as well as he would hope. I will admit, the big draw for me here was, without a doubt, Keanu Reeves because I absolutely freaking love the guy. This movie? Why?! I will never get those 90 minutes back. I could not stand those two dumb bitches and just… no. I am with you there 100%!
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November 19, 2015 at 12:15 pm
Haha! My thoughts are echoed here. Reeves has never been the greatest of actors but he has an appealing presence and most of the time his films are rather good. But here? What was he thinking? Did he see something on the script that I missed? This film was absolutely pathetic. I’m making a stand on Eli Roth. I never liked him much in the past and I like him even less now. What a piece of shit this was.
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November 19, 2015 at 12:18 pm
🙂 Yeah, this movie tanked completely. I don’t know, it’s like Roth wants to be great but never actually gets there. Meh. Oh well. As for Reeves? Super appealing, and such a cool guy.
This movie was pretty bland. Like, I didn’t hate it as much as some movies I have had the misfortune of watching, but I will certainly not be recommending this thing to anyone, and I will NOT be watching it again.
#WeWantMoreJohnWickNOW
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November 19, 2015 at 12:21 pm
Roth is an abysmal filmmaker in my view. Why do studios even give him the money??
I’ll certainly not be watching this again. I considered it maybe some time in the future, if only to see the funny side but I doubt it.
I wasn’t even going to write about it, but I do so, as warning to others!!
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November 19, 2015 at 12:16 pm
Sounds terrible. I’ve never seen a single Roth film and have no intention of doing so, but enjoyed reading nonetheless!
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November 19, 2015 at 12:17 pm
It is terrible, man! Very Fucking much so. Im really annoyed that I wasted time on this.
Trust me, you have made the right decision to avoid this (and Roth’s other movies). I’ll never go near the guy again. NEVER!!!
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November 19, 2015 at 12:29 pm
I hated this movie! You hit the nail on the head with this review. It was so terrible. I kept waiting for something good to come of it but no such luck
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November 19, 2015 at 12:35 pm
Cheers Mel. I was thinking the same thing throughout. I kept waiting for some revelation of some kind. Even an explanation. It didn’t happen, though, and just got more ridiculous as it progressed. A really terrible, terrible film.
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November 19, 2015 at 2:04 pm
So you’re saying this is a new classic, right? I’m with you on Roth. Not a big fan and I can’t muster up the excitement for this thing.
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November 19, 2015 at 3:13 pm
A future classic for sure! We just don’t know it yet. It’ll take numerous decades and generations before people realise how much of a genius Roth really is. 😉
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November 19, 2015 at 3:14 pm
I didn’t mind it, but I agree it is no great piece of filmmaking.
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November 19, 2015 at 3:22 pm
Aww I hated it, man. Absolutely hated it. I’m glad you managed to take something from it (as did quite a few critics) but it really didn’t work for me at all. I want that time back. 😉
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November 19, 2015 at 5:22 pm
I objectively enjoy Eli Roth in the world, but haven’t backed a single thing he’s directed – and this definitely sounds like it’s not going to change that. In fact, based on your review, I don’t think I’ll ever watch it. I think I probably feel the same way you do about these films in general, so thanks for making sure I stay away!
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November 19, 2015 at 9:06 pm
If I can manage to save one person from this dross then I have at least achieved something with this review, Jay. Trust me, It’s seriously bad.
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November 19, 2015 at 6:50 pm
I didn’t find this movie to be merely bad it was repulsive and unpleasant. And that blonde chick? Atrocious.
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November 19, 2015 at 9:08 pm
Repulsive and unpleasant are the feelings I had too, Sati. It makes me wonder why people can even take anything from these types of films. Seriously disturbing viewing and, quite frankly, despite the material, it’s very badly made.
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November 19, 2015 at 8:57 pm
I like Roth more as someone who’s knowledgeable about talking movies but can’t make one to save his life. Kind of like Kevin Smith. Kevin can tell a great story but his movies are kind of ‘meh’. While Tarantino is also very knowledgeable, although a bit annoying, he can spin a great yarn.
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November 19, 2015 at 9:14 pm
Maybe Roth can talk a good game (I can’t say I’ve seen him talk much) but you’re right, he can’t make one or act in one to save his life. Smith seems to have went the same way but I did like his early films like Clerks. Tarantino can certainly talk a good game too but he manages to deliver when it matters. I just wish Roth would Fuck Off, if you’ll excuse my Gaelic. 😉
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November 19, 2015 at 11:47 pm
“…his best moments come when he’s being tortured. Or maybe that’s because I could completely empathise with his excruciating pain while enduring this film.”
Hahaha! Thanks for that chuckle Mark, that’s great shit.
I must be a masochist or something because as bad as the reviews have been for this one, and they have been pretty foul, I canNOT resist taking the plunge here. I guess mostly to see how a three-way involving Keanu ‘Wooden’ Reeves would work out.
#dirtyboy
#thefilth
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November 19, 2015 at 11:57 pm
Ha! Glad to be of service buddy! I really had a shitty ordeal with this flick, man. Check it out if you must. You might even get a laugh out of this, it’s that bad. And, yes, a threesome with Reeves allows him to be “wooden” in more ways than one. 😉
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November 20, 2015 at 12:09 am
Yup. That’s where I was going with that hahah! 😉
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November 20, 2015 at 12:39 am
Haha! Thought so… 😉
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November 20, 2015 at 10:42 am
Wow, I think this is the lowest rating I’ve seen you give a movie Mark. This movie must be really shit.
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November 20, 2015 at 10:56 am
I believe you are correct, sir! I have given this rating before but since I started using the actual stars in my new design, this is the first to receive it. It’s absolute mince, man. I hate this film.
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November 20, 2015 at 10:57 am
Thanks for watching it so you could warn us all about it.
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November 20, 2015 at 11:00 am
Haha! We must all suffer for the greater good at some point, mate. I took one for the team here! 😉
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November 20, 2015 at 11:03 am
Exactly movie watching can be sometimes masochistic, especially when there is shit movies out there.
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November 20, 2015 at 11:04 am
… and this is one of those shit movies. 😉
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November 20, 2015 at 11:06 am
The way I look at it, for every good movie out there, there’s a shit movie as well.
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November 22, 2015 at 8:02 pm
Watched this myself. Got more out of it than you, but my expectations were very low!
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November 23, 2015 at 9:36 pm
Man, I got nothing positive to say about this. Nothing!! LOL 😉
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November 24, 2015 at 11:54 pm
Haha I have never been able to enjoy Roth’s stuff. Just not my thing at all. I don’t think I’ll be missing much by skipping this one!
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November 28, 2015 at 11:14 am
You’ll be missing nothing by skipping this, man. It’s pure garbage!
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